


i haven't gotten the slightest idea what this is

by otherside



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: DONT HATE ME ITS WEIRD, F/M, Genderswap, Marijuana, Oral Sex, Shotgunning, Smoking, Weed, i dont know, i never know what to tag, um squirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-04 22:45:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/otherside/pseuds/otherside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“C’mon Zayn, take a little longer, won’t ya’ mate?” Niall complains.<br/>“Bugger off,” Zayn says, sounding hostile.<br/>“I’m not the twat who’s been holding out on the pot, you shit.” The blonde retorts.<br/>Liam gasps -- loud. Their heads all turn like possessed dolls in a horror film. Her eyes go wide and she tries to make a run for it, but before she knows it, Harry’s got a hand on her and really -- there’s no use trying to fight him.<br/>“Oi! Where you off to, Li?” Harry mumbles into her neck.<br/>“Suppose this isn’t my place to be...” Liam mutters.<br/>“Don’t know about that,” Harry hums, “could fit right in.”</p><p>--</p><p>Liam catches the boys smoking weed and they graciously bring her in on the hit, because god, she's such a good girl. Even good girls need to take a load off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i haven't gotten the slightest idea what this is

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a random thing i wrote. idk i was supposed to be just a porny fic with no feelings, but i somehow made it ziam-centric, dammit i suck.

 

Liam watches Niall and Harry jumping all over each other from the corner of her eye, making sure the lads don’t punch too hard or shove too much. She hates to see them _actually_ fight (verbally more than physically). She’s scrolling through her twitter feed when she hears Zayn whistle sharply. Her head snaps up quick (a reaction she’s gotten to know well since being in One Direction). He waves a plastic bag of something green looking and leaf-like, then disappears again.  
She turns back to her phone and the boys are shoving off to follow behind Zayn. Liam’s suspicious to see what they’re up to this time. She raises an imaginary eyebrow (because she can’t actually do it), and cautiously follows behind them.

Liam stares hard at the dried bundle of leaves Zayn’s picking through as Niall and Harry eagerly wait.

“C’mon Zayn, take a little longer, won’t ya’ mate?” Niall complains.  


“Bugger off,” Zayn says, sounding hostile.  


“I’m not the twat who’s been holding out on the pot, you shit.” The blonde retorts.  


Liam gasps -- loud. Their heads all turn like possessed dolls in a horror film. Her eyes go wide and she tries to make a run for it, but before she knows it, Harry’s got a hand on her and really -- there’s no use trying to fight him.  


“Oi! Where you off to, Li?” Harry mumbles into her neck.  


“Suppose this isn’t my place to be...” Liam mutters.  


Her face is flush and Zayn’s looking at her with demons in his eyes as he licks over the joint. His gaze fades after Niall starts to paw at the drugs in his hands.  


“Gimmie!”  


Zayn rolls his eyes and lights him up. Liam watches the transparent paper light up with embers and the red get bright when Niall sucks in. He looks relieved when the puff of smoke escapes his lips.  


“Don’t know about that,” Harry hums, “could fit right in.”  


Liam’s stomach is in knots, because Harry’s tempting her to try weed and she’s actually contemplating it. Oh God, she’s questioning her whole life now, due to the fact that she’s breathing in the smell of _marijuana_ and enjoying it.  


There’s a voice in her head going absolutely mad with the thought of her even being near that stuff. She can just see a little person in her head, jumping around with, ‘ _ **Get the hell out of there Liam!!!!!**_ ’ And then there’s another smoking a joint, laughing at the other, saying, ‘ _It’s just weed, mate, isn’t the end of the world._ ’  


But she doesn’t really have much time to think it over before Zayn’s cupping her face, whispering with his perfect lips and mesmerizing eyes that make her body quiver.  


“Just breathe, Li,” and plants his mouth on her.  


Liam’s trying not to hyperventilate, because this is Zayn and he’s kissing her. It’s weird, though. His mouth is all wide and shaky, but then there’s hot and it burn the back of her throat. She just tries to swallow it down like she has no idea what it is (but she knows what this is and she can’t believe she’s just pretending like it isn’t happening).  


Zayn pulls back, lips stretched into a grin, and Liam’s coughing like there’s something foreign in her (and there is -- IT’S WEED. SHE JUST SMOKED WEED FROM ZAYN”S MOUTH. She didn’t even know that was possible ????).  


All of a sudden, she realizes that Harry’s still restraining her and his grip is getting tighter by the second. Now, there’s something pressing against the small of her back and oh.  


“Um, Harry?” He hums back, showing he’s listening. “Um?”

She gestures up her bum in the most innocent way possible and Harry’s rocking back into like she’s asking for it. (She yelps.)

Zayn and Harry exchange a (not very subtle) glance and next thing she knows, she’s being pinned down by Niall. Liam didn’t even know Niall could pin down girls -- not with those scrawny, pale arms -- and wait, when did those scrawny arms get so toned?

His crystal eyes are surrounded by a dull red, and his eyelids are all droopy like he needs a kip. Liam feels words inching up her throat when his mouth drops suddenly and a familiar burning feeling is making all the words go away.

She feels like her chest’s gotten light all of a sudden, and this time she only coughs a couple of times when Niall pulls his pink lips off her.

Suddenly, she looks around and wonders how the room got so hazy... and was that door always that shade of brown? Her head hurts just thinking about it. And yeah, she was right -- when did Niall get so toned? His shoulders are so much broader now. (But he’s still as pale.) He looks kinda fit like this; arms taut against her wrists and shoulders tense, lips a bright pink...

But, then all of a sudden Zayn comes from around the corner and his eyes are red too. Wait -- wasn’t Zayn wearing a shirt earlier? Where’s it gone off to? Liam could’ve sworn he was wearing one of those flimsy tank tops that made her stomach get all twisted.

And the boys laugh like she’s just said it out loud, wait -- did she say it outloud?

“Yeah, you did,” Zayn confirms.

She doesn’t know why, but she has the random urge to laugh so she does. It’s whole-hearted and cute. Liam can feel the red building up in her face, traveling all over her skin and making her hot.

She blinks for a moment, and next thing she knows, Harry’s on top of her lapping at her collarbones. Liam’s chest feels tight, like all the air’s gone out of her. He’s rocking his hips into her like some fucking rockstar and it makes her feel insignificant.

Liam doesn’t know what’s getting into her, but she’s lifting up her hips to meet his and Harry’s groaning like it’s actually paining him. Liam thinks, _this is new,_ and laughs all throaty like she’s out of breath.

“What’s so funny?” Harry breathes into her skin.  


She feels momentary goosebumps on her, then laughs again like she can’t control herself. “This.”  


“This is funny?” He says, fingers crawling up her top.  


She nods her head eagerly, tracing the lines of his tattoos on his collarbones. Whoa, wait -- when did Harry take his top off? And what? Where have her shorts gone off to? Liam thumbs at her hipbones in wonder. Her head feels light and Harry’s awfully close to her face.  


“Funny...” he hums, like the word is questionable.  


He kisses her then, soft and curious. He’s licking at her like a little kitten. And her heart’s racing, stomach getting tighter by the second. She feels this weird feeling between her legs like she wants Harry inside them, but this is _Harry_ , why is she having a proper snog with _Harry_?  


He pulls back for a moment and Liam feel herself whine. He’s whispering and touching her all over like she needs the comfort.  


“Just a second, babe...”  


Harry’s calling her babe like another one-off and Liam’s nervous. She really doesn’t have any time to register the anxiety before Harry’s pouty lips are back on her, breathing that familiar hot air. She holds it in this time, doesn’t even cough when it escapes her lungs.  


His eyes widen in surprise and she can hear Zayn and Niall hollering off somewhere. Then, they’re all around her now. Zayn’s hair is all mussed and Niall’s all pink with bloodshot eyes. She’s interested to know what they’ve been up to while Harry and her have been fucking around like a couple of kids in secondary school.  


Zayn’s leaning into her, petting at her cheekbones looking at her like she’s fucking special. And she’s leaning into his touch like a little kitten. Fuck, does she feel weak.  


“You’re such a good girl, Li.”  


She’s mumbling back at him, but the words don’t quite reach her ears. He laughs softly and leans down to kiss her as Harry’s still straddling her hips. His mouth is hot and tastes like that familiar smoke she’s grown so fond of. His tongue is more daring that Harry’s; sharper movements than just working her through it. Then, her head floats off imagining the different techniques on her clit and she moans into the kiss, rocking her hips up to Harry’s. He curses quick, like a breath and reaches for her pants. Zayn’s mouth is missing now, but somehow Niall’s gotten at her chest, lapping at her bra. ** **  
****

“We just wanna thank you for being such a good girl...”

Liam tries to protest, but the words leave her when Harry gets his tongue on her.

“Ughnuh,” she moans.

She’s rocking into his mouth, begging quietly as Niall fucks her tits with his mouth and her body is quivering from everything sensitive being stimulated at once. Her chest hurts from breathing so hard and her abdomen feels like it’s gonna explode. Then, Harry’s got his fingers in her, curving them like he’s saying “Come ‘ere,” and everything goes hazy.

Liam’s screaming and yelping and begging, then Zayn’s kissing her to muffle out the sound, but she doesn’t even feel in control of her body at this point. She’s panting and wheezing and everything feels cold from the lack of bodies on her.

But, then, Zayn crawls on top of her, touching her all over. He’s got his hands on her tits, thumbing over her nipples and petting down her stomach to the hollows of her hips.

His fingers brush over her clit and her breath hitches. Her back arches, eyes all wide. He holds her up, pressing their bare bodies together, fingers pressing onto her clit.

“Won’t you come for me, Li?” He breathes. “Just me?”

And before she can say much, he’s in her. Her mouth goes slack like the muscles in her face just stopped working. She can feel her body stretching around him, accommodating to the sudden shift from fingers to cock.

Her head’s gone all fuzzy and the room reeks of sex, but she’s never been more turned on then she is right now. Liam’s stomach is all tight and she feels so full of Zayn. He lifts her up like she’s a feather and rocks his hips into her.

“Shiiiit, fuck, Li, you’re so tight.”

And wow -- Liam feels like she’s gonna come just from the way he’s talking to her. She wants to tell him how good he feels inside her, but all she can manage out is moans.

He’s got a good rhythm going and the angle just makes her want to disintegrate and ascend into the Earth’s crust. Liam can’t help herself from clawing into Zayn’s back, marks deep enough to strike blood. God, he makes her feel so good. She can feel her orgasm coming in close.

“Come on, Li -- fuck -- come for --” Before he can even finish she hits her orgasm hard.

“Zayn!’ She yells, dragging her nails down his back.

But Zayn doesn’t even let up, just keeps his rhythm going and she’s too sensitive to keep going on like this. Liam’s clenching around dick, muscles tensing as he rocks into her harder, thrusts more erratic.

“Zayn, please --” she whines.

“Little longer, babe, I’m right there.”

And Liam doesn’t know what’s gotten into her, but she’s reaching down to touch herself, rubbing her painfully sensitive nub. She screams against her own touch.

“Fuck, Liam, fuck yeah -- touch yourself like that.”

She can barely control the way her abdomen is tightening. She feels like she’s gonna explode all over herself. Liam can’t stand it much longer and attempts to shove Zayn back, begging and pleading,

“Z-Z-ZAYN, please! I can’t-”

He pulls out a fraction of an inch and she lets go, yelling and screaming, squirting all over Zayn’s prick. He’s following quickly behind, splashing white against her slit. It’s a wet mess, but Zayn just laughs, pulling Liam in for a tender kiss, bodies covered in sweat, hearts beating a million miles an hour.

Liam’s blushing and stammering, _oh god, that never happens, I’m sorry Zayn, I just..._ But then Zayn gets his mouth on her again to quiet her, thumbing over one of her hard nipples.

“‘s okay, Li.” He hums, “that was fucking hot. Never made a girl squirt before...”

She just buries her burning face into Zayn’s chest, listening to the soft _thump, thump, thump_ of his heart. Her head is spinning and there’s a bitter taste in her mouth, but there’s really no way of avoiding what’s just happened.

 

* * *

 

Liam wakes to the sound of Louis screeching at the top of her lungs. It’s terrifying and her chest is pounding like a drumbeat. Her stomach’s churning sickly while brown eyes view the curvy girl at the entrance of the room.

“What’s the matter, Lou?”

“What the fuck happened in here?” Louis yelps. “It’s an absolute mess, and oh god! Liam you’re naked... with Zayn!”

And wow, she really is naked next to Zayn and all that stuff really happened. She has no idea how she’s ever gonna live this down. But really, Liam’s just as confused as Louis. Could someone explain what happened to the both of them? ‘Cause she’s got absolutely no idea.

 


End file.
